What I Want (What I Want, Book One) (An Alpha Billionaire Romance) Read online

“Are you coming?” Josh asked. He was standing in front of the gleaming building, waiting for me. I glanced up. The building was dark except for a light in one of the windows around the tenth floor. I imagined Noah Cutler in there, waiting for these two stupid law students to come in and meet him. What would he do when he realized he’d had sex with one of them just hours earlier?

  I needed to make up an excuse. I needed to say I was sick, really sick, that I was going to puke or faint or have some kind of panic attack. But to do that would be career suicide. This was my chance to make an inroads in Worthington’s class, to make my mark in an otherwise so far unremarkable law school career.

  So I squared my shoulders and followed Josh into the building.

  We road the elevator to the tenth floor in silence.

  My stomach flipped as we stepped out onto the crushed red carpet, and the floor moved under me. I stumbled.

  “Whoa,” Josh said, grabbing my elbow. “You okay?”

  “I’m fine.”

  I forced myself forward.

  There was a receptionist sitting at the desk, a beautiful girl with shiny dark hair falling in a perfect curtain down her back. I wondered what she thought when she’d been called into work at three in the morning, if she knew her boss was a suspect in a murder.

  A murder! The man I slept with might be a murderer. My legs felt shaky, and I sat down in one of leather chairs in the reception area without being told I could.

  Thankfully, Josh got called in first.

  He returned ten minutes later, flashing me a huge smile and a thumbs up. It was a good sign. If Josh was coming out so quickly and so happy, it must mean that Noah Cutler wasn’t much of a hard ass.

  “Charlotte?” the receptionist asked. “You can go in now.”

  I stood up and made my way slowly down the hallway.

  There was a light shining out of an open door at the end of the hall, and I forced myself to walk toward it. When I got to Noah Cutler’s office, he was sitting at his desk. His desk was huge and made of expensive-looking cherry. I expected him to be in a frenzy, to be going through papers or making phone calls – the normal chaos you’d expect from someone who may have been about to be charged with murder. But either Professor Worthington had exaggerated the seriousness of the situation, or Noah Cutler had nerves of steel.

  “Come in,” he said, waving his hand at me.

  I walked toward his desk, making sure to place my feet carefully and take tiny steps. The last thing I wanted was to stumble in front of Noah Cutler.

  “Your name?” he asked. He leaned back in his chair and folded his hands together on his lap. I stared at him. Was he really going to pretend that he hadn’t just had sex with me a few hours ago?

  I cleared my throat. “Mr. Cutler, I think we… I just want you to know that –”

  “What. Is. Your. Name?”

  “Charlotte.” I was stunned. Did he really not remember? Or was he messing with me? I had a flash back to the way he whispered in my ear, asked me what my name was before he left. I remembered the way he slid into me, the way he felt buried inside of me, the rhythm of his hips as he fucked me. My face burned.

  “Well, Charlotte,” he said. “I’m sure Worthington has briefed you on my case?”

  “Not… I mean, he just told us you might be charged with murder.” Maybe he was going to just pretend the whole thing had never happened. Which, honestly, would be a relief.

  The thought of being charged with murder seemed to amuse him. “Yes.” He nodded. “And I can count on your complete discretion as it pertains this matter?”

  “Yes. Yes, of course.”

  “Good.” He nodded. Then he stood up and walked around to the front of the desk. He sat down on the edge so that he was mere inches from where I was sitting. He didn’t say anything for a moment. I looked down at the floor and twisted my hands in my lap. “Stop fidgeting,” he commanded. My hands settled. “Look me in the eye.”

  I looked at him. The electricity that flowed through me felt all-consuming, a surge that took my breath away. His closeness was intoxicating. I could still feel his hands on me, his dick inside me, his fingers, his mouth, his presence, his dominance.

  “I have your discretion?” he repeated again.

  “Yes.” I nodded.

  “In all things?”

  “Of course.” If he was talking about what had happened in the alley, he didn’t have to worry about me saying anything. There was no way I was going to admit that to anyone.

  “Good.” He reached out and took my hand, turning it over to inspect my wrist. The X was still there.

  I tried to snatch my hand back, embarrassed. But he held me tight. “You left the X,” he said.

  “I didn’t have a chance to wash it off.” The pad of his thumb traced a slow circle over my pulse point, and I was afraid he’d be able to tell how fast my heart was beating.

  He raised his gaze to mine, looking at me from under lowered lids. “That means you’re still mine.”

  “Oh.” I tried to take my wrist back, and this time, he let me. “I…”

  “Stand up, please,” he said.

  It was automatic. I stood up. He looked me up and down, his eyes stormy, like maybe he was displeased with me. And even though it made no sense, even though I hardly even knew this man, in that moment, all I wanted to do was please him.

  “Bend over,” he said.

  “Excuse me?” I spluttered.

  He stood up from the desk and began to roll up his sleeves. “Bend over the desk, please,” he said.

  Fear and excitement pulsed through me. Was he going to fuck me again? I wanted him to so badly. My body was already ready, my nipples hard, my panties starting to get wet. But if I fucked him, there would be no way I could work with him.

  “Mr. Cutler,” I said. “I don’t… that wouldn’t be appropriate.”

  “Now you’re worried about being appropriate, Ms. Holloway?” he asked. He moved close to me, so close I could feel his breath against my cheek. “After what we did earlier?”

  “That was.. that was different.” My resolve was melting, and I tried to take a step away from him. He had that same spicy scent of mint and expensive cologne.

  “How?”

  “That was before I was working for you.”

  “You’re not working for me yet,” he said simply. “I still have to call Worthington to let him know I’m comfortable with you.”

  I stared at him in shock. Was he seriously saying that if I didn’t sleep with him, if I didn’t let him take me over the desk, that he wasn’t going to hire me? I’d heard about this kind of thing happening, and even though I’d had the sense that my male law school classmates had been taken more seriously than I had, I had never been so blatantly propositioned like this.

  And I didn’t care if it meant my law school career was over. I had my boundaries. And no matter how badly I wanted him, I wouldn’t be made to feel like my job depended on my willingness to have sex.

  “I won’t be working for you, Mr. Cutler,” I said, squaring my shoulders. “Thank you for your consideration. Good luck with your case.”

  I turned and walked out of the room, tears of humiliation burning at my eyes.

  When I got to the reception area, Josh was gone, and the receptionist was no longer at her desk.

  Maybe Josh had gone downstairs. But when I got outside, there was no sign of him. And no sign of the car that had brought us here.

  Great.

  As I began to scan the street for a cab, my cell phone started to ring.

  “Charlotte,” the voice on the other end said. “It’s Worthington.”

  “Professor,” I said, struggling to keep my voice steady. “I’m so sorry. I wasn’t trying to –”

  “I’m not sure what you said to Cutler, but he raved about you. Great job. He wants you on the case.”

  “Oh.” I swallowed. Was it possible Noah Cutler had decided that since I’d stood up for myself that he should hire me after all? “Th
at’s great. I’m so glad. Um, is there anything Josh and I can do tonight?”

  “No,” he said. “Josh isn’t going to be working with him. Cutler didn’t get a good vibe.”

  “Oh.” My mouth went dry. “So it’s just me then?”

  “Yes,” he said. “Just you.”

  “Okay. Um, is there anything I should do?”

  “No, not right now. He hasn’t been charged. But Noah Cutler is his own worst enemy. We’re going to have to keep an eye on him, make sure he doesn’t mess up his own case. You got it?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  There was a call coming in on my other line, so I said a quick goodbye to Worthington and answered the call.

  “Charlotte?” It was Noah Cutler. I recognized the voice immediately. Smooth, husky, with just a touch of amusement.

  “How did you get this number?”

  “I’ve heard you’ve been tasked with the job of making sure I don’t get into trouble.”

  “Yes,” I said, deciding to try to be professional. “You need to make sure you stay out of this, that you let Professor Worthington take care of things.” I hoped I sounded like I knew what I was talking about. I wished I knew more about the case, but if I’d learned anything these past few months, it was that people thought law students were better seen and not heard.

  The door to the office opened, and Noah Cutler came walking out. He hung up his phone and gave me that grin. “Oh, good,” he said. “You’re still here.”

  “Did you send the car away?” How was he doing all of this?

  “Yes. That other kid was worthless.”

  “Well, thanks,” I said, annoyed. “Now I have no way home.”

  “You’re not going home,” Noah said. I noticed for the first time there was a long black coat slung over his arm, and he was holding a briefcase.

  “Then where am I going? “ I asked.

  “With me.”

  “Where?”

  “To my apartment.”

  “No.” I shook my head. “I’m not having sex with you.”

  He shook his head at me, like he couldn’t believe I would be so presumptuous. “No one said anything about having sex, Charlotte. But you heard Worthington, I need to be watched. Otherwise I’m going to get myself into trouble.” His eyes blazed, and a heady mix of heat and desire shot through my body. “I’m going to need 24/7 supervision.”

  His intent was clear. He wanted me to come back to his apartment. For what, thought? What was he going to be doing that could get him into so much trouble?

  Worthington’s words echoed through my head. Noah Cutler is his own worst enemy. We’re going to have to keep an eye on him, make sure he doesn’t mess up his own case.

  “That’s impossible,” I said to Noah now, shoving my chin into the air. “I can’t be around you twenty-four seven.”

  “Why not?” He moved forward, reached out and traced a line down my chin, over my lips, down my collarbone.

  His eyes blazed, cool and icy blue. God, he was gorgeous. I’d never seen a man this gorgeous up close before. I’d had sex with him! He’d seen my half naked, he’d been inside me.

  I felt my face flame.

  Noah leaned forward, his face just inches from mine. “Are you thinking about what we did earlier, Charlotte?” he rasped. “Because I am.”

  I shook my head. “No,” I lied. “I’m not thinking about what we did earlier.”

  “You’re not?” he pressed. “You’re not thinking about what it felt like to kiss me, how your body felt against mine, how my hands felt on you?” He was moving closer now, his lips just inches from mine. “Because I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.”

  The pad of his thumb ran over my bottom lip, and the sensation drove me almost insane with lust.

  “Come back to my apartment,” he said. “We can do whatever you want.”

  “Whatever I want?” I repeated.

  “Promise,” he said. “We’ll do whatever you want.”

  I knew it was a lie. Noah Cutler wasn’t the kind of man who gave up control to anyone. He made the rules. He knew it. I knew it. And we both knew I was going to go back to his apartment with him anyway.

  By the time we got there, I’d gotten control of myself. I’d had the chance to compose myself, and my heart had slowed just a tiny bit.

  We took the elevator up to Noah’s apartment, on the 39th floor of an ultra-exclusive building right in Midtown.

  “I’m not going to sleep with you again,” I said as the elevator began its ascent. “It would be extremely unprofessional of me.”

  “Charlotte,” Noah said again, sighing. I still loved the way he said my name. “Why do you keep alluding to the fact that we’re going to be sleeping together? I haven’t said any such thing.”

  “You said you couldn’t stop thinking about what we did earlier.”

  “You mean when I lifted your dress and fucked you in public?”

  “Yes.” I should have been offended that he was saying the words out loud, but all they did was turn me on.

  When we stepped off the elevator into the hallway, Noah stopped outside the door to his apartment. “Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked.

  “Do what?”

  “Come inside.”

  “Why wouldn’t I?”

  “Because I’m about to be arrested for murder.”

  “Did you do it?”

  “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

  I rolled my eyes. “If you’re saying that, it means you didn’t.”

  He unlocked the door and pushed it open, and we walked into his apartment. “Nice place,” I said, trying to sound nonchalant. Everything was gorgeous, done in shades of dark brown and light blue, all leather and cream and softness. Huge windows gave an expansive view of the city, and the lights outside twinkled in the darkness.

  “Thank you. Would you like a drink?”

  “No thanks.”

  He moved to the couch and sat down, stared at me.

  I sat down on the chair across from him, and asked myself again what the hell I was doing there. I’d been trying to justify it by telling myself it was because I wanted to make a good impression on Noah so that I could impress Worthington. But the truth was, right now, I didn’t give a crap about Worthington, or about law school, or anything. All I cared about was Noah.

  I wanted to kiss him again, to feel his hands on my body. It seemed a sin that I’d only had him for a little bit of time.

  “I really want to kiss you again,” he said matter-of-factly.

  “No kissing,” I said.

  “Why not?”

  “Because you might be a murderer.”

  “You really think I murdered someone?”

  “I’m not sure,” I said. I smoothed my skirt down. “I don’t know anything about the crime.”

  “Worthington didn’t tell you?”

  “No.” I shook my head.

  “Then you don’t know that I’m probably going to be arrested?”

  “I thought you were just a suspect.”

  “I’m a suspect because I’m the most likely one who did it.”

  “You don’t seem upset.”

  “I’m distracted.”

  “By what?”

  “The way your tits look in that shirt.”

  I blushed at the way he just said things that were so blatantly sexual like that. Cock. Tits. Pussy. The words were foreign to me. Of course I’d heard them before, but usually only in movies. I certainly didn’t hear them every day, and I certainly didn’t say them.

  “Will you stand up for me?” Noah asked. “I want to look at your body.”

  I stood up.

  “Turn around.”

  I turned around. I loved that he was looking at me, that he was being so blatant about the fact that he was looking at me.

  “God, you are sexy,” he breathed. “You’re getting my cock hard just looking at you.”

  “Noah,” I said. “This is not … I mean, we really shouldn�
�t be.”

  “Do you want to stop?”

  I shook my head.

  “Good. Turn around.”

  I turned around.

  “Now bend over.”

  I bent over just a tiny bit.

  “All the way,” Noah commanded. “All the way down and grab your ankles.” I did as I was told, feeling the cool air hit the bare skin of my ass. I was wearing a black thong, not the kind of thing I would usually wear, but when I wore a skirt, I was always afraid of panty lines.

  “You are so fucking sexy,” Noah rasped. “Come here. Come to me.”

  I got up and crossed the room to him, and he pulled me into his lap. His hand slid up my thigh, pushing my skirt with it.

  His other hand slid up to the back of my head, and pushed me toward him. “I’m going to fuck you again, Charlotte,” he said. I could feel his cock hard against me, and I moaned. “This time I’m going to fuck you for a long time. Do you think you can handle it?”

  “Yes,” I breathed.

  “Tell me you want me to fuck you.”

  “I want you to fuck me,” I said. “Please, I need you to fuck me.”

  “Say my name.” He dipped a finger into my mouth and I sucked on it softly, watching his eyes blaze as I did it.

  “Fuck me, Noah,” I whispered. “Please, I want you to fuck me.”

  He kissed me then, softly, which was a surprise after all the dirty things he’d been saying to me. His tongue was warm and perfect, his mouth exploring mine, probing hungrily.

  I pushed myself against the hardness of his dick, but just like he had earlier, he reached out and held my hips, stopping me. “No,” he said. “You don’t get to control this. I do. And we’re going to go nice and slow.”

  He began to unbutton my shirt, stopping as soon as my breasts were exposed. He ran a finger over my cleavage.

  “I’m going to explore every single inch of these hot, sexy curves of yours. Do you understand that, Charlotte?”

  “Yes,” I said. I was dripping now, so turned on that I was afraid I might come without him even touching me.

  He stood up, his hands grabbing at my ass. I wrapped my legs around him and he picked me up like it was nothing, like I was as light as a feather. I buried my face into his shoulder.

  I hesitated for a just a second, right before he brought me into his bedroom.